The Benefits of Living in Someone’s Walls


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Imagine this. You’re alone on a Friday night. It was a long week. None of your friends are available to hang out. It sucks. As you lay on your bed, you start to ponder what life would be like if it were just a little better. Suddenly, you start to hear cracks and rustling sounds in your walls. What could this be? A rat? A skinwalker? Maybe. Suddenly, an arm punches its way through the wall, trying to grab you. You back away. Suddenly, as more and more pieces of the wall break away, you discover that it’s in fact not a squirrel, but rather a man! 

“Hey dude, you seemed pretty lonely. Do you want to hang out?”

Just like that. Instant friendship without having ever to leave your room. Don’t bother asking who that guy is or how long he’s been there, you’ve just made a new friend! When you live in someone’s walls, you start to understand them. Their struggles, hopes and aspirations, it’s almost as if you start to become a part of their personality. Additionally, the housing market is pretty bad right now. This is a one-way ticket to free rent! As I write this article, I am currently residing in the walls of Peter Smith, who lives at 24 Oakville Road. He has no idea that I’m here, which oh god he found meGE)OHISOJD:V<”