Ahhhh, it’s finally Christmas season. Nothing says Christmas more than homework assignments and diseased school lunches. Every holiday season, there’s one question that prevails. One question that haunts every student’s mind: 

Is Santa real?

“But Bilal”, I hear you ask. “Isn’t Santa for little kids? We know that he’s not real!”

That’s an incredibly valid point. Many sources, such as the acclaimed masterpiece “Santa Paws 2” seem to support the conviction that Santa is real. He also seems to have a lot of dogs but that’s for another day. What gives? How can he be real, but not exist?

I had the opportunity to sit down with local Santa Claus denier to discuss this dilemma. 

“Aye man, he’s not real,” the anti-Santa local remarks. “It’s all part of the hullabaloo that Hollywood does. Same thing with those dogs that just jump all over the gosh dang place. ‘Santa Paws 2?’ Have you seen that movie? That’s definitely not real. Look at my dog”

His “dog” is a filthy Mickey Mouse plush from 2009.

“See that? That thing ain’t doing jumps or anything! Same thing with Santa. The only way I’ll believe Santa is real is if he comes running through that door right now and demands that I help him save Christmas or something stupid like that.”

Then, Santa came running through that door.

“BOYS! I need your help to save Christmas! It’s me Santa! Ho Ho Ho!”

“SANTA!” Limothy exclaimed. 

To be continued…